She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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