if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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