Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
