dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You ruined the universe
I am mentally ready for anal.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
