I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
