So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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