Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
