need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
