Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
