Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
