hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
