and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
