My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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