I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Let's get the cat blown out
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
