I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
