Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
