Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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