Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
