So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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