It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
