NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
lets start a swedish sibling band together
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
