I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
