CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
