Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
