She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
