I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
