so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
