I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
