great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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