bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
