Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
