I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
