break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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