Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
