areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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