babies were throwing up all over the place
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize