I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
