Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
