I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
be right there i have to get my cape
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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