What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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