yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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