She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm bleeding and have questions
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
