She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
