I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
