I think I am morally bankrupt
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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