I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize