So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
