Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
