party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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