would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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