So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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