this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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