Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize