Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
