I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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