I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Can I color on your dick again?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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